a preacher's attempts at writing

Meeting Gracious people of OMF LIT

2008-05-17T18:46:00.002+08:00

One of the pleasant gifts and surprises in life is when God allows you to meet people! I think thats a loaded statement for many of us who for one way of the other have found our false comfort on being alone or simply locked in our individuality. Yes we are unique so unique that its not meant to rot without taking the risk to relate to others. I think that's the lesson i learned and i will cherish. As I met the light hearted people of omf lit.

They just don't publish their books they practice grace. I have learned a lot! Thanks to my brother whose influence in my life always brings me back to deep thoughts and a lot of laughter. I really agree that the godly are the most light hearted. More the books at the omf lit manila, it's really their grace filled attitude that makes people feel accepted when they go inside the bookstore.

kuhol este cool talaga ang mge taga omf lit! Lalu na yung anak ng pastor sa marketing ang pangalan niya starts with letter g........ methodist siya kaya tamang tama sa letter g sa liturgy hahahahah

handling success in grace

2008-05-17T18:44:00.001+08:00

HANDLING SUCCESS IN GRACE

By: Rev. Arnel C. Tan

“At Daniel’s request, the king appointed Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to be in charge of all the affairs of the province of Babylon, while Daniel remained in the king’s court” Daniel 2:49

It’s one thing to be successful and it’s really another issue to handle your success in grace. Daniel modeled this for us. While it’s true that he is the man in skin for handling success in grace all his trail points us back to God the One who gave him success, its not our goal to paint a superman in Daniel. People like him are rare. Many can handle adversity while many stumbles face flat threading the slippery role of victory. It’s when we are at the pinnacle of success that our spiritual boundaries are either defined or rapidly becoming blurred.

As much as Daniel needed God in captivity the more he acknowledge his need of God in the palace. Remember he served kings whose moods and power differ from each other. Yet these monarchs wanted Daniel nearby. In times of crisis Daniel gave the best advice. His tenacity in politics is remarkable. He did not only stay long he stayed clean! Before we make Daniel look flawless let us remember that everything is because of the favor (grace) of God.

Favor from God or grace is very clear to Daniel. No wonder he carefully handled his success in grace! How? He the LORD as the source of all of these blessings He remembered his friends who prayed with him. This is something worth remembering when God allows us to taste success let us not forget that we did not reach the top on our own. Someone along the way helped us! Daniel handled success well in grace by not treating his friends as competitors but companions, and his enemies he treated them calmly in prayer and not in vengeance. Daniel in grace let go or shared his powers instead of hoarding it.

Before the king or before the lions Daniel knew his identity as a recipient of God’s grace. I like the word “request” this is a language of grace while “demand” is an expression of control and legalism. He has always been in the request mode from captivity as he dealt with the king’s chef and before Nebuchadnezzar himself he still uses the grace word “request” what a man! Many have become unbelievably demanding while in authority and few have shown grace. Success is very revealing. Honestly, we are not sure of what it will reveal about us. For the mean time the attitude we show in where we are now is most probably be the same attitude we will manifest if ever God grants us a taste of success. Consider your place today as a preparation for what God has planned for you tomorrow. The bottom line handling success in grace is all about how you view yourself and how you view God!

FINDING STRENGTH IN GOD

2008-05-13T08:35:00.001+08:00

FINDING STRENGTH IN GOD

By: Rev. Arnel C. Tan

“…….But David found strength in the LORD his God.”

1 Sam. 30:6 NLT

David under the most stressful moment of his leadership survived when he found strength in the Lord his God. This is a wonderful intimate picture of David’s relationship with the LORD. Here we see David personally so acquainted with his God. In the most trying moment he found God so near, so real. Such relationship of being near God and being strengthened by God is not the experience of many. Not that it’s not available nor was it kept in a hidden code; it’s really an open secret that few dare to explore.

Such simplicity of finding strength in the Lord requires a faith relationship with God. No time wasted proving the existence of God, much time is allotted in knowing God, resting in God and being strong in God. It’s also a desperate call for help and a deliberate abandonment of all false source of confidence. Until it’s really God alone as the source and the sufficiency of life and meaning of our existence and His glory the pursuit of our heart we wallow in shallow waters. Ignorant of the things we say, detached from true communion with the Almighty.

I really wonder especially in the darkest time of my life if this Old Testament record of David finding strength his God is still true today? My heart in many dark night of the soul could not even describe the abyss that I am in. If there is one thing very difficult to do is to lie to your heart. Feelings are expert liars, restraint within are so difficult to achieve when the inner man wants full release from bondage hard to describe. Perhaps David having been familiar with this dark corner of life where his leadership is waning and his crisis increasing can only run to God with whom whose presence and promise he enjoyed.

While David’s crisis and ours seem to have been eaten by a stubborn web of complication the way out and the way to survive is still made so simple. Find strength in God. After all we tried the many medicines and promise of relief from the experts we still find true rest when we finally come back to God and be strengthened by Him. It’s no longer our strength it’s God’s strength at work! It’s declaring dependence rather than independence that the weary finds rest, or rest finds him. This is a case of reckless abandonment of our deep wounds into the care of the Great Physician. Oh weary one after everything has been said and done, bloodied and messy and sick and tired of being sick and tired we still find that our way back to safety is drawing close to the LORD. And David found strength in the LORD his God in other words it means CALL ON THE LORD! Next time let’s not try to experiment let’s experience the strength that comes from God! Believe me He is more than willing He is able!

BLOGGING AGAIN!

2008-05-08T21:01:00.002+08:00

It's been really a while since i made another entry to this blog. I don't know what bit me tonight I thought of renewing my blog. Special thanks to you who took time to read and comment, believe its special to me. I've been around lately so humbled by the opportunity that the Lord is opening, honestly something is changing i really wish that i could pray more than preach more. i feel my own inadequacy and the tremendous responsibility before God when you are being listened to.

Aside from my sunday preachings in church i wish to add no more. I've said "no" to many invitation lately. Not because of anything else it's just a strong conviction to pause and do some hard thinking than frequent preaching. It spiritually nourish me more than ever, to be in prayer meetings with God's people.

THANKS FOR DROPPING BY

THE GRACE FO GRIEVING

2007-11-23T10:11:00.000+08:00

THE GRACE OF GRIEVING

By: Rev. Arnel Tan

Then Jesus wept. John 11:35 NLT

Seeing the Son of God weeping, grieving for the death of a friend is not only an awesome and mysterious, it’s comforting too others who are grieving too. This is a grace modeled by Christ that gives permission for us to grieve our loss. To express it in tears when words fail to articulate what we feel inside. Tears are language that God understands because He too had to shed it Himself. Grieving is an act of grace simply because it is showing that we are not man and woman of steel, somehow our personalities may differ but inside we are all the same. We are WEAK!

The grieving of Christ as expressed in his weeping models a unique grace of how the One who is willing to grieve is a comfort to others who are grieving and an encouragement to those who refuse to grieve over a loss. It is in this time that His weeping more than his preaching has ministered comfort to many. Some were touched, while others demanded for more spectacular miracles. By the way we don’t weep or grieve to create an impression we grieve and weep to express our humanity and to surrender to God’s sovereignty. Tears per se are not a requirement for repentance yet for those who repent often we find it difficult not to shed tears.

The grieving of Jesus allows us to see not a divine crack or weakness rather a taste of grace that our tears are valued by the Almighty. How opposite from what the world taught us that crying is weakness. Here we learn that the cry of the helpless and the grieving is the beginning of an unsuspected source of strength! In a nutshell, it’s OK to cry! Personally, I am not a stranger to tears, somehow I am beginning to be conscious of it especially when I am preaching. Above the “embarrassment” that weeping brings to a minister the freedom and relief it brings inside is overwhelming. I remember the Psalmist saying “Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.” (Psalm 126:5). That’s not just a good stuff to quote that’s a good seed to plant and a harvest to enjoy!

What do you think is the message of “Jesus wept” to you? For me it’s a language of grace that is expressed in grieving. When will grieving end and moving on begin? No one can really tell when the grieving stops. Probably it won’t end in this life. The good news is in every time we grieve God weeps with us and provides grace to finally accept what humanly we can never accept. After some time of intense grieving while doing my afternoon walk at the nearby cemetery (a God given spot to grieve), I found a deep sense of freedom inside, sound of shackles dropping and a fresh song from my heart saying or singing Horacio Spafford’s hymn “it is well with my soul” and this time it’s not just a song you sing in funerals, it’s a song of a soul finally set free! Thank you weeping Savior, thank you for allowing me to weep too, no wonder why You can wipe tears.

GRIEVING

2007-11-22T11:11:00.000+08:00

GRIEVING

By: Rev. Arnel Tan

“Then Jesus wept.” John 11:35

I heard Mr. Philip Yancey spoke one time I heard him say we live in a fallen world of pain. I am not sure if I quoted him exactly, but the idea is we are living in a fallen world and pain is something we cannot escape. The things that God created to be good such as marriage, sex and the meaning of life has been perverted by the evil one. Then in the midst of a perfect environment inhabited by perfect people death came by the disobedience of Adam and Eve. Like a domino effect pain became a part of the fallen humanity. Why did Adam and Eve not die as what was said? I can only say that they should have died and all the soul that sinned must die, yet the DELAY OF DEATH is an early preview of the mercy of God.

When pain meets us head on and when it is no longer a theological or psychological topic we slowly understand the meaning why Jesus wept. He modeled to us the grace that is found in grieving. Grieving is an expression of intense sorrow over a loss. Underscore the words intense sorrow; this was the feeling of Jesus when a good friend died. To see Sovereignty grieving is an awesome sight! A lot of mystery wraps the weeping of God. We may not fully understand what this is about, or perhaps this is not meant to be dissected into theological cubes for the consumption of the wise. Maybe this is something God Himself modeled for the hurting and the wounded to cope with life’s loss and eventually move on in grace.

One way or the other we all have experienced a certain degree of loss. Loss of a love one, a pet, a marriage, loss of integrity, loss of a one life time break, or simply put loss of hope. While the experience of having to loose something or someone is universal. There is one important issue that many chose to skip; in fact many chose to bury this ahead over what they have loss. What is it? It’s called the act of GRIEVING OVER THE LOSS.

While God showed us His Son grieving and the Holy Spirit being grieved by our sins and stubbornness, we mortals have brushed it aside.

Don’t you it’s time to take Jesus’ hand and ask Him to grieve with you. Or ask Him to teach you and walk with you in this difficult pathway. More than a therapy or emotional release, grieving opens the door to recovery; bring us to the next step of moving on. Is it true that we don’t want to grieve because we still think we are strong? And we can handle the loss? Grace abounds to the grieving soul; brokenness opens doors of new beginning. Being crushed in the spirit and being in tears somehow brings us to a new day of moving on. Don’t you think you have denied yourself of grace of grieving over the losses in your life? Take the step and ask Jesus He knows everything about grieving. When you say God be merciful it actually conveys the idea of God crying with you.

P.S. If you know someone grieving remember more than words they need a shoulder to cry on and a gracious permission to grieve.

Prayer Mentor

2007-11-13T20:36:00.000+08:00

In many humbling and surprising ways the Lord raise the ordinary to do the extraordinary for his glory. My friendship with Alex Gunay i call him tozer started when I was tasked to scout the next station manager for DXKI in marbel south cotabato. The life of Alex represented a model of what God can do to a man who acknowledges his nothingness. I am humbled by his hunger to know God. Unknown to him he became a mentor to me. Inspired by how he wakes up and takes a cold bath and pray in the morning, i find myself doing the same. A simple and yet deep man of faith.

I have no doubt that more awakenings will come out of him as he obeys God into the pastoral ministry. I am an excited child watching in awe what God will do to a man whose desire is to glorify his Lord. He never acted like a mentor nor clamored to be one. In his own simple and honest way he became one to me, and to others that silently watch him.

Each time i take a trip to DXKI part of my excitement is to learn from him and see how God honors those who honor Him. I am prayerful that his roots will grow deep and bear fruit that last. I prayerful that his prayerful life open his eyes to see more of Jesus, and in deep roots and grace filled discernment see things in God's perspective. Though not ordained and non Mdiv yet he became a unassuming mentor to me. His simplicity and kindness is his unique mark of grace and not his competence. In the end of life its the kind that made a difference not the competent.
Thanks Alex tozer gunay

A Reluctant Preacher

2007-11-11T20:42:00.000+08:00

it's a rare sunday for me i did not have my regular preaching in our church, believe it's a timely relief. It's not a joke preaching four services on a given sunday. I spoke on the 59th thanksgiving anniversary of Capital Alliance Church in Toril. Rev. Bert Labawan is most gracious to have me preach in their anniversary. It was a wonderful moment of worship and prayer! When the worship leader led us in worship song tears stream down my cheeks. This is something i haven't experience in the past. It's a new sensitivity to God's presence. I think it is this chapter of my life that makes a reluctant preacher out of me.

Reluctant not because of rebellion to God's call but a deep realization of my personal inadequacy and a heavy realization that preaching transcends words, it's a tall order to the preacher himself! How safe just to be in the pew than the man behind the pulpit. It's sacred task that makes you so vulnerable, knowing that your so human. Lord help! Honestly, someone has to do the job so to speak, someone called by God has to stand there and bring sense of God back into the main stream of life. Reluctant because, of the holy expectation that is built within the office of the preacher, reluctant because i know what a graceless heart i have. Reluctant because the job of preaching is a powerful influence to the people who hear. I have more reluctant reasons that cannot put into words for now.

This reluctance makes me seek God in prayer. Every opportunity to stand and preach is a sacred task not to be taken lightly. There is a sense of holy duty to really seek God in earnest prayer if i am the man who will bring God's word. It's a moment that calls to embrace the grace of God as it fearlessly reveal the many ungracious side of my life. Honestly, I think this reluctance leads me not that to seek a podium to pound my thoughts, but to quietly savor lessons for me in my unknown corner. A passion to be a learner than to be a lecturer, a child that need more instruction and only when necessary i wish to open my mouth and quickly hush. This is good for my soul! I pray that i may dig deeper on this a new kind of blessed reluctance.

RELUCTANT PREACHER ANEW

2007-11-11T20:38:00.000+08:00

Some thoughts again

2007-11-10T23:03:00.000+08:00

It's been some time really since i started to blog my thoughts. Many things happened as in many simple and complicated things. Signs of midlife is one of them. A minister in midlife, believe me it's a tough corner to be in. I guess that midlife madness explains a prolonged silence in my blogging life. Honestly, I find it too complicated to write my feelings. You don't even know where to begin and how it would end. This blog is unplanned believe me. I think we need more unplanned moments to feel that life is not as structured as we have thought or made it to be. Spontaneous moments are refreshing moments reminding us of fresh grace.

Well, i think im slowly, coming back to my normalcy hahhhaha. I have learned the importance of the two choices of life wherever and whatever life may bring you. You either depend or despair. The proud hates the idea of depending on someone, sadly that includes depending on God. No wonder the proud is further caught in a self made rut. Depending on someone is non negotiable, this is one area that choice is not the issue but stubbornness is. From baby's diaper to adult's diaper thats the point, we are not created to be alone, many choose to be alone and lonely. The other choice aside from depend is despair. If we can't depend or won't depend we have chosen despair.

Depend on whom? well I finally learn from what i've been preaching, it is full dependence on God. The word 'surrender" is not just a cliche to me it's a timely word of refuge and rebuke. Fresh and daily surrender to God really makes a whole difference in this life's madness. Humbling and humiliating and yet nourishing the soul, even to blog again.

tradional birthday crab

2007-07-03T21:17:00.000+08:00

I don't remember when exactly this crab dinner started. It's my eldest son's favorite for his birthday. Today Paul celebrates his 14th birthday! Im awes trucked the small boy is now a young man! I remember putting candles on a steamed crab for his birthday during his younger days, yes crab instead of a cake. After a song and prayer we all dig in for the feast! Those precious moments of being a family. Paul being a minister's so grew in a simple home, im sure he is not all the way appreciative of what he has in a pastor's home and being a PK is a tremendous pressure.

Today his 14th birthday almost slipped away, thank God it didn't. Mama was not with us, we took Fitz with us and use his new car. We went to a chinese resto for a crab! No regrets when i heared my visa card cranked, this is for my son, nothing is too precious than this night! Nothing dramatic happened oh how teenagers detest emotions especially from an emotional dad like me. I tried my best to simply listen (God knows how i restrained), Paul's thoughts were honest and deep answering the query of uncle Fitz on how it is to be a preacher's kid, he spoke of tremendous pressure and high expectations that he has to contend with. I just sighed feeling load for the boy and silently offered a prayer for grace to abound. What about the perks of being a PK? i eagerly await what he will say, then the bite of reality " I am still trying to find out the perks" oooouch. Hurt? actually its more an awakening in my part and a silent prayer again for God to dash some gladness in his young heart. It's not a complaint or anger, i simply sensed honesty out of his heart.

It was a fine evening of deep thoughts for me, perhaps a lesson on grace and a challenge to bend down and see the world from his view. i pray that despite this all one day Paul will finally find the right words to describe the perks of being a PK. I love you son! Til the next crab dinner!

Watchout!

2007-07-03T10:28:00.000+08:00

War on Greed!

Camouflaged greed is not easy to detect because they look so safe and it is covered by good noble intentions such as “it has helped a lot of people already”. Who can detect this deadly enemy? This greed virus has crept into the hearts of many, not only among those who defiantly reject God, but even those who sincerely follow God. This hellish weapon comes as a spiritual stealth undetected by our religious radars.

The Lord Jesus has never failed to warn us against all kinds of greed, remember the parable of the rich fool? Recorded in the gospel of Luke chapter 12 verses 13 -21 is the complete detail. It all started with an interruption coming from someone in the crowd, asking Jesus to be an arbiter against the internal family squab regarding the issue of inheritance, sounds familiar to me. Go into the records of our courts and up to the highest court of the land the Supreme Court and you will find a lot of similar cases. Greed proves to be thicker than blood! What is supposed to be an interruption Jesus took it as a timely opportunity for instruction and spiritual insights? For though it came as a personal request it reveals a general curse that has infected mankind – the problem of greed!

Jesus calls the rich man in this parable a “fool” not because he is rich, not because he built a larger barn, not even because he planned to eat drink and be merry. What is then why Jesus called him a fool? It is because of his greed! It’s a case of a man possessed by his possessions. Remember the warning of the Lord is to watch out, be on guard, to all kinds of greed, can you detect your kind of greed? May the Lord help us see the destruction that greed brought and the deception that it has wrought even among those who are working for this glory? WATCH OUT is timely warning.

· GREED FOR GLORY

· GREED FOR GOLD

· GREED FOR GAINS

· GREED FOR GADGETS

· GREED FOR GRADES

· GREED FOR GARBAGE

· GREED FOR PLEASURE

· GREED FOR PRAISE

· GREED FOR MORE

May we remember the words of Christ “real life is not measured by how much we own” Yes we all know this from our cranium, the question is have we experience its effect deep down our hearts? Has it redefined our priorities? Redirected our pursuits?

Let the words of Jesus disturb our peace with greed so there will be a sense of helplessness in us to fight it then we call for Help, then deliverance from greed happens!

King Asa

2007-06-30T17:41:00.000+08:00

I usually do my jogging with my dogs at the nearby cemetery near where I stay. Aside from the physical benefits of dog walking and not to mention a very effective way to relieve me of “ministerial stress” it has also given me the special moment to reflect and do some timely realization. My jogging / dog walking ritual allows me to observe several things like the reading of the epitaphs written on the tombs. I remember what Philip Gurlley ( a Quaker minister) said about epitaphs, in reading people’s epitaphs you can read the name of the person and two important dates: birth date and the death date. Here you realize the brevity of life and you can’t ignore the question that runs like this “ between those two dates is there a life well lived?”

What then is a well lived life? By what standard shall it be measured? Who can say that such life is well lived? As a believer in Jesus Christ I am confident that eternal destiny of those who trusted Christ as their Lord is already guaranteed safe! But the life lived while waiting for eternity is another story. One can be saved and yet die sad. I have in my mind King Asa the king who called on the Lord for Help and deliverance and yet on the 35^th year of his rule Asa declined spiritually from brokenness he is back to self sufficiency, you can read his story in 2 Chronicles 15-16. He died sad and obviously he did not lived a well lived life. For the simple standard of the condition of his heart, he NO LONGER CALLED ON THE LORD FOR HELP!

Here’s the answer to our question what’s a well lived life? A well lived life is the life that is not lived for self but for the GLORY of the Lord, a life that breathes on the altar of fervent prayer calling upon the Lord for Help, a life that is HUNGRY for God Himself and daily surrendered for His purpose. Jesus Christ our Lord must be the source of our strength and His glory the pursuit of our living. Have you ever taken a necessary pause and ask yourself the timely question “Am I read for eternity?” “Am I living a well lived life?” The answer lies in the person of Christ. Jesus defines what a well lives life is.

“…..Even when the disease became life threatening, he (Asa) did not seek

The LORD’S HELP.” (2 Chronicles 16:13)

Oh how sad, having begun with trusting God and ended trusting self. Sad indeed! We need the Lord today more than we needed Him yesterday. Let us always find ourselves in great need of God! This is how we face eternity and live life well! I NEED THEE OH I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR I NEED THEE!

Learning to face your doubts in grace

2007-06-29T11:21:00.000+08:00

The Christian journey is not about a race it’s a journey of faith and spiritual maturity. Along this rugged path we learn to deal with the realities of sufferings and other many obstacles that actually birth more questions than doubt. I agree with the feeling and honest observation of Dr. Charles Swindoll about the hymn “My Faith has found a resting place” there’s a line that says “it ends my fears and doubts” according to Chuck though our faith is settled in Christ, it does not end our fears and doubts. I bring myself aside and try to ask the hard questions regarding the issue of doubt. I must admit I have many more in my heart. Candidly, I say that sometimes I need to confront my self after I preach a sermon the hard question that probes down the depth of my heart-“Do I really believe what I just have said?” It’s a scary yet necessary moment.

Who drives the dark clouds of doubt away? How long and how soon are they gone? Or how quick they return? I take refuge on the grace of our Lord in dealing with my doubts, especially how the Lord is ever present and ever gracious when we are bombarded with our doubts, even those ones that falls border line with being a heretic? Yes the Lord remains GRACIOUS. Remember Thomas often called the “doubter” it took 8 days in doubt before finally recovering from it. I wonder how was life in those days of doubt? What could have happened if the Master did not meet him? Perhaps the relevant question now is what are going to do with our own “8 days” or more days in doubt? Let’s learn to face it in grace as the Master is gracious. When in doubt I find these insights very helpful

When in doubt express it.
When in doubt learn to face it instead of covering it
When in doubt learn to restrain in making commitments or declaration, put aside.
When in doubt learn from it, pay attention to it
When in doubt take it to God in honest prayer.
When in doubt depend on God to triumph over it.
When in doubt learn to live with it

As of the moment I find these insights helpful to me, they are not hard fast rules and certainly not infallible just some lessons I have learn along the journey of life. I am prayerful that this will be useful to you too, remember this verse:

“Jesus told him, “ I am the way the truth and the life. No one come to the

Father except through me.” John 14:6 NLT

This is the bed rock foundation of evangelical Christianity, yet before we forget this is God’s gracious answer to a disciple who dared express his doubt. The presence of doubt in our hearts does not erase the grace of God, honestly it magnifies it! Let’s all learn to deal with our doubts in GRACE.

Prayers

2007-06-23T18:41:00.000+08:00

I think the best answer i got on the question "why pray?" is from Philip Yancey, "we pray,because Jesus prayed" Prayer though much talked about, much affirmed that its really needed remains a bitter herb to us. There's no immediate attraction to it like a 'hersheys" bar, it's actually so plain and yet once you are in it the plainer it can be the best you enjoy it. Though well meaning many of us ministers have added a lot of our own additives than what God meant prayer to be. How sad and how sour legalism turned prayer to be. As i look back since 2005 in the last month of August when my heart was stirred by God to really pray! The battle is on not of any excessive warfare stuff, but more on the battle to the complications that our legalistic heart has attached to something plain and liberating like prayer.

Helps me a lot to simply things when i go back to the basic that prayer is the cry of the helpless, and that God hears the cry of the helpless, regardless of there semantics or sound doctrine. It's not a lecture, a monologue its a blood bought communion with the Almighty! How could i miss this in the 20 plus years of ministry! Now that God brought it back my battle cry is Lord help is see it as plain as you want us to see it. May we learn to grace it all over with the oil of your mercy, may it always remain a sweet hour of prayer. Free us from additives, may we trust Christ and trust Him alone! Just plain prayer no additives please.

Feelings

2007-06-23T18:00:00.000+08:00

Feelings misty watered colored feelings este memories pala hehehehhe. Actually i have nothing specific in my mind this time. I want to veer towards an untapped strength in us, it's always a suspect for being inaccurate, and when you venture to take time to relish it's meaning you get a lot of cautions than encouragement- im talking about feeling your feelings. Honestly, i think there's a place for this in ones heart or much more in one's theology. As write, i am trying to resist all the shields that others and most of the time i have made around this matter. They are well meaning shields to protect you from the excess i agree. yet too much of these "protective shields" robs us of something wonderful? hmmmp

I would like to dare trod a little bit deeper in this uncharted water of my life. Being afraid of water i think i shall go to it inch by inch, if your anchor is deep in grace and truth this journey i think appreciates grace that allows you to walk in the unconventional. With a cup of coffee in a lazy saturday afternoon, savoring the remaining moments of rest, i will give it a try..... i am starting to smile allowing my heart to bring me to the most happy, romantic, scary moments of my life. This brings a dash of colour in my black and white existence. Perhaps the next step to try is travel.....ooooops im getting deep out from my hole. Lord help!

this few moments to be me at least in this blog, makes me feel good inside. Tomorrow will be work i really want to say worship at church but sometimes it really feel work than worship. I prayerful that God will change my heart, to be truly His worshiper than just someone who happen to say things about God. I hope this will be the beginning of something meaningful in my very predictable existence. I venture to ask why good moments only last for a short time? Romance love and spontaneous chat something rare now a days? The need to survive and the need to put others first invades your few moments of happiness. Rules over relationships, unwritten expectations, and an eternal hounding of some sound that you must act this way or that continue to dogged you all along... this is how i feel today. Heresy perhaps? I think its honesty with my feelings that has been for sometime kept. Thank God I can speak free to Him in prayer, especially those ones that cannot qualify to be in the pastoral prayer yet God desires to hear it. I think God wants me to visit my feelings more often than once in a while, really makes me human than a minister. Im beginning to enjoy the journey.

Waiting?!

2007-06-22T09:52:00.000+08:00

Who wants to wait? Who is not irritated when you are trapped into a waiting mode by someone who comes late? By nature we dont want to be kept waiting, this is especially true to those who made it a goal not to make others wait for them. However waiting changes its mode when we see how God is involved in the waiting period whether voluntary or induced. Here we begin to see things in a different light. Here we realized the disaster we could have gotten ourselves into or others if we did not wait.

Waiting on the Lord is a holy productive time of listening to His voice and to your heart too. We listen to Gods' voice and humbly submit to His ways. It is transcending the pressure to hurry and the vicious snare of worry. It is a choice to turn the intensity of worry into fervent prayers. Then like something too good to be true we experience the peace of God that no human mind can ever understand. Prayer and God's word under the guidance of the Holy Spirit are the tools we need in waiting on the Lord. I believe when you decide to wait on the Lord than rush into what you think right and what you labeled as urgent brings about more benefits than you can imagine . The hurried and the worried gets the nod of the crowd( who like them are cruel perfectionist) because of their fast track lives, but the calm and prayerful (at heart and not showing it as a spiritual badge) gets a deep sense of the wonder of God Himself,

Perhaps a good question to ponder is "why am i such in a hurry? Or why am I so worried? let this probing question test our actions so we can see the perspective of God and in prayer experience His peace. There are greater danger and disaster when we go ahead of God, and to let us taste our own doze God lets us, so when we hit th consequences of our impulsiveness head on we come back wanting to wait, no longer trapped but broken, humbled. Remember that in the Love of God everything is on time. meaning there's no need to hurry and worry! When our hearts are trained by God into a waiting mode, even morning rush can be a blessed hush- becoming a pleasant time of communion with the Lord.

"Wait patiently for the LORD Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the LORD." Psalm 27:14 NLT

Mall, MRT and my brother

2007-05-04T14:15:00.000+08:00

Another much needed awakening must happen and it has initially taken place in my heart.The traveler in me must be awakened! My youngest brother Alex ushered this awakening in my heart. I really dont like travel especially that part of travel that makes it look like you are a part of the "amazing race contest" whew i hate it! yet silently deep down my heart lies a wonder and a wish for travel. I still find my self amazed by the sceneries of other countries especially those with pines and log cabins, fire places, nature, lakes and of course I silently long to bring my family there with me and our dogs too. All of these are hidden in the wish corner of my heart!

My brother alex who has modeled grace more than i have preached it from the pulpit never gave up on me. Patiently trying to stir the writer and traveler in me. I had fun! My first MRT ride was scary and yet a timely awakening of the real life in this hurried city of manila. Our trip to the Malls gave me a new sense of freedom from my daily grind. and to be with my brother somehow made me feel i still have a family, I deeply admire his colorful life of fun and spiritual depth. I must admit it was learning time for the preacher. Oh boy he can survive this overcrowded Manila, wow that's my brother!

Our long walk from his apartment at UP bliss to the campus of UP dilliman was a wonderful moment between brothers, i offer a silent prayer for him as we hum along songs like "I go to the rock". Our dinner was great the iced tea was super! A day in the mall was truly rewarding, we went to power books spend a unhurried time enjoying life without dead lines. A much needed nap after our search for "go nuts' donuts for my wife and kids i bought my son archie comics im sure he would like it. This time no demands for glee a phlegmatic smile is enough. Slowly learning grace in seeing the differences in personalities.

Then a good movie everybody were watching spider man 3, we chose to watch the "shooter" it was fun. I think we were less than 10 people in that theater, that was nice! Like any other good time and magical moments i has come to an end, alex brought me to the airport and im on my home back to Davao. it's good to be back yet more than anything else it's good to really see whats inside the heart and live it out. It's a real blessing to have a brother who mentored me what grace and full life is all about. Mall, MRT rides and m brother alex, a pleasant awakening a remarkable deposit of precious memories.

A Unique Awakening

2007-05-04T13:55:00.000+08:00

it was a series of a unique awakening that happened to me and to the churches that i have been given the privilege to minister to. What makes this unique is that it all started with reluctance in my heart. Remember those moments that you know you can choose, you have been given the ability to choose and yet you feel hostage to the circumstances? That was my initial feeling when we traveled to Dagupan, a duty with initial delight. Indeed God's way is not our ways.

I think some kind of a sacred and quiet awakening started to creep into the predictable life of Dagupan Chinese Baptist chuch when the Holy Spirit stirred a hunger for prayer and a delight to pray once more. Our worship service almost ended by 12nn, it preached with a translator. Pastor Alex Chao's translation of the sermon to chinese was also smooth and light, a sense of liberty was there. God is at work! i didn't felt to give an altar invitation yet the prompting of the Spirit is deep and I extended it- God has touched hearts already so his people responded! it was a deep and quiet awakening of prayer in our hearts. Silently i gave thanks to God for allowing such a remarkable moment as this.

It was not expected that it would be a series of "awakenings" our convention meetings was also remarkably touched by God, no hysteria, no extreme just a deep movement of the Spirit pouring into the lives of empty surrendered vessels. Then our trip to baguio. It was not in the original plan yet the Lord graciously opened the door, my excitement was not just about the beautiful sight of Baguio City, but the prospect of seeing and being there when God once more touch hearts of His people. The Lord granted us another quiet and yet deep kind of awakening during our very simple service held at Baguio Chinese Baptist Church sanctuary, it was remarkable moment of communion with God! Another awakening has started! Silently, i bowed my head in humble thanks for God's touch in my heart. Seeing God's people pray is a wonderful sight to me.

Finally Fun Time

2007-04-12T16:58:00.000+08:00

Honestly, it was something unplanned, some benefits of my impulsive tendency made fun time with my three kids finally POSSIBLE! This morning i just thought of taking tim (my youngest) out for a one on one date. After my noon time broadcast we are all set. Changes happened when the two kids wanted to join the fun, hmmmmp on second thought i said jump in, so we were four fun seeking family! This time it's daddy and kids, my wife decided to stay home for some chores.

You will understand how precious is this time for me as a minister. I can't fully explain why most minister are in this plague of others first then family, please pray for us for many like me have become too tired to have fun with the kids! What tragedy! One kids grow without any memory of family at all or their daddy. Finally, almost accidentally we had fun together. Tim and I had a haircut, while the Paul and Shekinah waited. Then we head off to have kentucky fried chicken before seeing a movie at NCCC Mall. I smiled seeing the kids trying to count the people who knew me at the mall, perhaps at the back of their mind a question that ask when will we have daddy alone? Paul candidly commented "i think there's no place where you don't know anybody" whatever that statement meant it led me to think hard.

The movie was "the bridge of therabitia" it was fun, we had large pop corn, i had coffee. I can sense we all had fun. I bought kids some stuff and my teenager a sleeves sports shirt and a shorts each time they say thanks dad my heart swells with joy and thanksgiving for the opportunity to be their and have somehow build a memory. It feels good to be able to make some right things sometimes especially as a dad! Thanks Lord

Moments flies quickly, the fun has ended and back to our routine. Yet in my heart something is buried to stay, that at least at one time we HAD FUN!

Easter Awareness or Easter Awakening

2007-04-07T20:44:00.000+08:00

I am doing my final review for tomorrow's easter message. Honestly, this annual routine of preaching easter message sends me to a ministerial cramming looking for something new, something relevant about the easter celebration. Something relevant? Isn't the resurrection of Jesus Christ the most relevant and dynamic truth of Christianity? Perhaps the relevance i am trying to seek is not how to make the message of easter handy and useful in the pain and suffering of the modern man. I believe the message but i am struggling on how to communicate it in a fresh way! Then something happened God intervened, answering my plea for wisdom.

This year's easter must transcend easter AWARENESS to easter AWAKENING! I pondered on the the experience of cleopas and his friend at the road to emmaus. Incidentally, only the gospel of Luke recorded this marvelous easter awakening. Prayerfully, I desire that you too as will encounter the risen Lord and experience easter awakening. On their way to emmaus a stranger joined them, later the stranger started to make sense to them that he became their dinner guest, who later led them to an awakening that the Lord is risen....really risen! What's the difference? At first it was just an information regarding the risen Lord, informed but not transformed this is exactly how many celebrate easter today, well informed in the mind yet no divine warmth in the heart! Jesus Himself walked with them, Jesus Himself talked with them, Jesus Himself dined with them! This easter awakening the Risen Lord walks and talks and commune with us!

Don't walk alone let the risen Lord walk with you, talk with you and dine with you! A special journey of faith and prayer, a special time of spontaneous chat, a special time of close fellowship! Easter must transcend awareness to a holy awakening of grace, gratitude, of faith and of fervent prayers wrought about by the risen Lord Himself! Have you experience this awakening? For a preacher like me preparing easter message should no longer be described as ministerial cramming but a holy encounter with the Risen Lord! The Lord is really risen!

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL!

Pass word rememebered

2007-04-03T20:54:00.000+08:00

For some time no i have not written something in my blog, this is due to an alarming loss of memory at 38! I forgot my password. Well, I have been forgetting many things lately, keys, dates , names, my kids ages hahahaha and many others. Is this a sign of silent and yet rapid deterioration? Or simply i am unfolding another chapter of life. Moments ago i tried punching in my pass word as i remembered, honestly i really believed i have logged the same password in my past attempts to open my blog yet to no avail. Tonight it worked!

More than this newfound password, I think there's more timely insight to learn. 1. No matter how old and predictable your life might be God still sends some timely surprise! which means to me don't rut there's more to come! 2. No matter how sharp your memory is totally unreliable, get a pen and a note and write your password! ( i know my youngest brother told me this already) 3. follow sound advise immediately 4. Prayer works wonders. 5. Delays are blessings 6. Forgetting creates a new and fresh appreciation when you finally found what you lost.

Well i know there are more lessons to learn about this experience, just to be sure that I dont forget them lets keep it to these 5 items. Rejoice with me I found my password again, and this time i hope and pray to be a little bit more wiser and humble admitting human limitations and resting in the Sovereignty of God, and not to forget expecting surprises!

revisiting grace

2007-02-09T10:51:00.000+08:00

Just when you feel that you know about grace, and have somehow felt like your already a gracious guy youre back to square one! i think that's where i am now. Back to square one. Last sunday i have prepared a sermon series on brokenness, i was not prepared that the Lord will change just one word and it spells a great difference in application. instead of a series on brokenness the Lord change "on" to "of" meaning more than the subject on brokenness, i need a series OF brokenness!

What a way to re learn grace. It is when you are broken that God's grace shines the most! No wonder God wants us to offer to him a sacrifece of broken spirit and a repentant heart. Here we value and embrace the grace of God. How did this all started to me as a first one to apply it. You might not think that its the nearest precious person in your life that would be God's sharp scalpel for brokendectomy (hahahaha).

My son paul whom i love dearly taught me to practice grace but seeing first my ugly side of legalism again. Series of brokenness indeed! Blessed brokenness

A Time with Paul

2006-10-21T20:45:00.000+08:00

They say when your son reaches eleven you are now living on a borrowed time. I think this is painfully true. You wake up one morning and a young man who was once a boy is now before you. Honestly, you dont notice this at all or at once, it takes a close reflection on how time runs fast. How many more christmases before he makes his own christmas tree with his own family. hmmmp i dont really want to think about it.

im just happy tonight that I had a special time with my eldest! No big issues to discussion thank God no arguements! Just thankful that He still likes to have dinner with me. Can' t afford to loose these thoughts from my mind. i think friendship and a LOT OF PRAYER are the key to parenting your teens. Dad is in midlife and my son is a teen, Lord help! It's in simple times like these that we realize how time flies, i really dont know whats going on in his young mind. God is faitfhul thank God i received a love gift this morning so i will have some cash to pay our dinner.

Borrowed time indeed, just thankful that I had a meaningful time with my son Paul. i pray that there will be more times like this. Cherish the moment while its there. Thank You Lord!

A candle light prayer meeting

2006-10-14T10:48:00.000+08:00

It was friday the 13th when we had the most unique prayer meeting in our church. Just when we were about to start prayer meeting about 5:35pm the lights went out! The rest of the block where our church is located have their electricity except our lane. Hmmmmp, it was not friday the 13th it was a timely reminder of our God the Soverreign One! I went to a corner to pray and ask God to bring back the light before the meeting begins. I went to the pulpit and ask the church to pray for the light- The Lord did not grant our request, He wants us to learn something.

Honestly, I was not disappointed that the light did not come back. At this point the women and some of our men and our associate pastors begin to light candles. It was nice to see, flickering lights against the background of darkeness. We can't see clearly who is our seat mate in church the only lights were the lighted candles. As I reflect it was a symbolic moment of God reminding that all of our man made hopes must be temporarily dimed so we can see the beauty of the light of God's hope! Believe me that message is tailored for me.

By 6pm we started the worship, we sang from our hearts and memory "in moments like these" and 'God is so good" lesson when things are dark we all find ourselves becoming childlike in faith and in our singing of those songs whom we thought just for kids. i enjoyed every moment of the candle light prayer meeting. I stood to give the devotion message guided only by a kinky candle light on the podium. i recall that morning when i was preparing for my message for prayer meeting, there is an inner prompting to try to memorize this verses, i did. No i know why, my 37 year old eye cant cleary see as it used to be (reality check growing oooooch old). i preached the verses from memory "Some trust in chariots, some trust in horses but we trust in the name of the Lord our God (Psalm 20:7)

Then we all prayed and felt an unique presence of the Lord! A remarkable friday the 13th indeed, an encounter with the One who is our light! by the way 209 people attended our prayer meeting! God blew some literal fresh wind so we can not sweat all the way. it was pure delight and sacred experience. Shall we call it a night of fresh gentle wind, and a night of fresh grace filled light! God is close to those who call upon His name!