Tutoring Tim

A novelist and a theologian fred buechner aptly said something that is worth a deep thought-finding God in the ordinary! While many are attracted to the supernatural and the miracle many have not paid attention to the ordinary things in life, such as waking, working, above all dreaming. It is this daily routine that we have neglected to discover God. Fredrick adds here God gives meaning to our routine. Thanks to writer Philip Yancey and to my good professsor friend Dr. Bong de la fuente (academic dean of PBTS Baguio) for introducing fredrick to me. i heard him often being quoted by Dr. Bong and Phlilip Yancey wrote about him too.

While i intellectually agreed to his statements i am still igonorant of the pleasure of discovering God while going through the ordinary. My youngest son time whom i fondly call "the lighthearted one" seem to have a hard time with his assignment, came to me for help! Normally my wonderful wife sheryl takes care of this stuff- tutoring kids. Believe me she's the best teacher in the world! Why me for time that night? Well even the best teacher is not spared from fatigue. So super dady to the rescue? Im embarass to say that teaching Tim was not that attractive to me. i could have miss a chance of the life time of seeing my boy grow! And im there to watch him! Eternal thanks Lord!

I remember his awesome attention to me as i slowly help him in making polite sentences. I was teary eyed to see him write! Oh my he can now write. He is now grade one he should know how to write? Yes, but the exitement and the embarassment is how could i allow this wonderful stage to pass by? My heart swell with pride when my wife told me that Tim said I am a good teacher! To me it was more than winning a pulitzer prize! My youngest proud of me? Thanks Lord. Yes an ordinary rountine turned to a meaningful encounter with God, and out of it grace was mined!
This blog is not complete if I ommit this part, in my young mind a memory was etched, it was when my papa brought me to a black board and taught me the alphabet that was awesome! The rest were years of tyranny, it no time to play the blame game now i know. i just remembered that out of the ordinary tutoring time with Tim came out something sacred! Something we daily see and something we daily miss. Prayerfully, never underestimate the ordinary, there you find God or God reveals Himself to you!

Unconfirmed Feelings

I grew up with the church teaching that feelings are not reliable compass in life, especially as a spritual barometer for critcal crossroads. I still find my self in agreement to this early lessons in the christian faith yet i think we must know the difference between relying on them and totally ignoring them. Love, crushes and romantic impressions have made my world a little bit exicitng and made me willing to take a little risk.

what am i suppose to do? Im learning to put feelings in its proper place not relied upon yet not totally set aside. Though most of these unconfirmed feelings must be better kept safe in the secret compartment of my heart, its good to give a hint to others once in a while. Inside you see things that does not always have a corresponding biblical passage, you enjoy moments of laughter and ecstacy as you allow to revisit that little child in your heart. Like a horror movie you also see mysterious tragedy that if you put it on your sunday sermon it will never be understood. Sometimes an eerie feeling of the something gloomy, that seem not to leave your mind, some kind of a peep into the future and what you see makes your ears tingle.

Well words and feelings sometimes dont catch up with each other. You want to say it plainly only to find you have no right words that can best describe what you feel. Probably the best label is simply to call it UNCONFIRMED FEELINGS. It's another kind of adventure believe me, im slowly taking a risk to stay with it for a longer time. Who knows there's something to personally learn.